Let me start the weekend off right… stop, stretch, take a deep breath, let it out, and just relax… ok, I don’t know about you but I really needed that. My week was stressful and emotional and exhausting… and I am so glad to be through the thick of it!
I am happy to say that I am feeling a little more at ease today but still processing… plus it has been so unbelievably hot… I debated turning my oven on just to cool the place off… yes, that hot! I don’t know about you but I do not thrive on summer in this area. It is tough to get moving and all I really want to do is take a nap.
Well, somehow I still managed to stay productive. I’m thinking it was all the nervous energy. If I didn’t find healthy outlets i.e. cleaning, cooking, projects with the kiddo… my head might have exploded and that’s just not good for any of us.
Let’s see, a quick recap for those that missed previous events… life, death, fear, hope, sadness, happiness, and everything in between… no wonder I’m tired. It has been quiet a week.
I say a prayer for friends and family that had to say good-bye to loved ones this week. My heart goes out to you and yours and I pray God will carry you through this most difficult time. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.”
I must also say congratulations to those that welcomed new life. I wish you and your new family nothing but the best. Health, wealth, and happiness… seriously, what a week!
On the home front, we’ve been making minor adjustments in how we communicate with each other and our little one. The stammer comes and goes and is still nowhere near what we experienced on Sunday but after lots of worry, a few Dr.’s appts, and some sage advice from friends and family, we are feeling more at ease.
My biggest challenge is to not get emotional if my little guy has a struggle. I noticed that my feelings must have been written all over my face because he told me, “it’s okay Mommy I just need a little more practice, that’s all.” So I have been working on my poker face. We’re moving right along. I’ve decided that on top of our official fast food boycott, we are working on setting aside time for art projects, music, reading, and other activities that might help us all grow together in a positive way.
Every time I feel like I’m doing a pretty good job as a Mom, I am forced to reevaluate and consider if “pretty good” is good enough for my family… good enough for me. I tend to be an avid overachiever so I’m going to have to say probably not. I guess that’s part of what all this is… a growing and learning experience that allows me to examine things I might let go or sweep under the rug. I realized a while back that whatever this is… my outlet… my therapy… my unburdening… it is not just about losing weight… I guess it never really was… it’s kind of about everything… growing up mentally, spiritually, and in my case… growing in physically… I know it should be shrinking or something along those lines but it just didn’t have the same ring to it.
So physically I’m still a mess. Baby steps are all I’m managing at this point but I feel like I am working my way into a positive routine. I’ve cooked like a mad women… it’s that nervous energy thing… I’ve cleaned up our home, our life, etc. and I’ve done really well with what I have chosen to put into my body and how I care for/feed my family (and friends).
I really am working on finding myself again under this armour I have built up around myself. I used to be fit and thin but I was young and dumb and didn’t appreciate how easy it was then… Youth (and a 28 inch waist) really are wasted on the young. So now with my renewed sense of self I press on and every time I consider a little cheat here or a bad choice there… I remind myself that, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”
~Eat right and live well~